Threads of Meaning

I heard about the Knoxville TN tragedy shortly after I arrived at work Sunday.  I was numb as such a terrible act is so hard to comprehend and because the constant chaos that is Sunday morning at the church didn’t let me have time for it to sink in.  My personal life is also especially hectic as I prepare for two-weeks away including graduate study work.  I try to get a few household things accomplished between my husbands trips here and there (France, Germany, San Jose, North Carolina).  So I was especially grateful for the vigil organized on Second Life today.   I wonder how many people might dismiss it as a fun-and-games virtual reality world, not at all understanding the amazing opportunity it creates.  I was able to gather with fellow UUs and sympathetic others from around the world for a candlelight vigil at the same time it was happening at the UU church in Tennessee.  In the midst of my crazy life, I watched the clock, logged in and headed for the UU church in Second Life.

In the short time I have been attending the worship services it has become a familiar place, a touchstone.  I saw familiar faces (albeit virtual ones) in a familiar space.  I was welcomed and offered a candle (again virtual) to hold in silent vigil.  OK, the silent part is a bit difficult in a world where a constant stream of text chat is the norm but the visual of us gathered together for a common witness was powerful (and you can ignore the text chatter).  Some were moved to share song and some to share the heart sutra.  And when I was unexpectedly called to rush my husband to the airport, my virtual self continued the vigil in my place until my return.  It was somehow comforting to know I would still be represented even though I would be temporarily absent.  (Photo: If you look click on the photo and look closely you might notice the small white candles held by each “person.”)

I love experiencing moments of synchronicity, whether they are just a matter of what you are noticing or something more mystical afoot. I recently noticed the buzz around Kate Braestrup’s book, Here If You Need Me, that was just published in paperback. Since I’m entering seminary to become a UU chaplain it was amazing to find a book written by a UU chaplain mentioned everywhere I turn. First in my email because I (only recently) subscribed to the newsletter of the Speaking of Faith public radio show on which the author was interviewed (June 26). Then I found the article on her, Chaplain in the Wilderness, at the UUWorld.org website. I also saw it mentioned at Shelby Meyerhoff’s blog Looking for Faith complete with video clips. I finally had a chance to listen to the podcast of the Speaking of Faith interview on Saturday. Then on Monday morning I had and appointment with my chiropractor who I hadn’t seen since applying to seminary. I filled her in on my plans and she immediately started to tell me about a book she read around Christmas time. Did she tell me about it already, she asked? No, I said and listened intently. Her husband had been the one to find it. When she read it, she loved it so much that she had given it away as a gift to friends and family. What was the book? Well, it was Here if You Need Me, of course.

I had a wonderful time at our church service Sunday. It was an opportunity to be a part of the community instead of just behind the scenes in the office as usual. Also, our animal service was a great success with coverage from a new independent media organization in Long Beach, LBPost.com. (I will post a link when the article is available.) It was my first attempt to express the relevance of the Religious Proclamation for Animal Compassion for UUs and although it felt like a good beginning, I look forward to refining my talk to better evoke my sense of deep connection. I collected many signatures for the proclamation and was asked to speak at another UU church in the future.

On Saturday, I visited an area of Second Life (SL) called UUtopia where some UUs have taken up “residence.” I even visited the parsonage of a UU minister who in real life (RL) is the minister of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Saint Johnsbury, Vermont. Take a look at the video that the UU church in Second Life has on their website for a glimpse into the world of Second Life:


What Does It Mean To Be A Church? - video powered by Metacafe

This Sunday I will make my first appearance as a Best Friends Animals & Religion Ambassador. My minister, Rev. Marguerite D. Lovett, is doing her annual animal service. I will be speaking during the service and staffing a table during the coffee hour with information about the Religious Proclamation for Animal Compassion. Today I’ll be working on what I will say after the order of service is folded and I take my church administrator hat off. Yeah, I’m going into the office today. Our Buddhist study group members are meeting as usual this morning and will fold the order of service as usual, so I will go in for a short day today. Here’s an excerpt from the proclamation’s Preamble:

In a world of increasing violence towards others, ourselves, and our environment, we believe it is essential to reclaim and recover a commitment of compassion for all of life. We believe that a commitment to compassion begins with the most vulnerable among us, which includes animals.

I finally made it to the Thursday evening (6:30 pm PST) worship service in Second Life! I’ve been meaning to attend but often don’t get home from work in time. I kept checking out the church when no one was there. I loved exploring it but its much better with other folks there. They didn’t have a planned service this week but that was OK with me. I was just glad I made it and that I was finally meeting other UUs who are in SL. Unfortunately, I got kicked off my Internet connection when the service ended and by the time I got back to SL the coffee hour was breaking up. I’m determined to get there again next week! Check out this report on an event at General Assembly- Second Life: Connecting the Global Fellowship in Cyberspace

(Photo: A snapshot of the service. I’m the one with wings sitting in the back row! My SL name is Aysu Nishi.)

The title of my blog actually took form during the period in which I was denying my calling to ministry. I was looking at creating a new online presence that would be useful in the secular career in which I was trying to engage. As I faced stripping my overtly religious online presence from those pesky Google searches potential employers might make, I found myself feeling grief over the loss of my authentic self. However, in my attempts to articulate what is uniquely me in secular terms, I came up with a blog concept that actually represents the merging of my religious-self and secular-self. I have always had a tendency to interpret things differently and see connections that others don’t see. I also have an urge to connect people and concepts that seem quite disparate (at least from their perspective). It made me feel like an outsider when I was young, but now I view my different way of seeing things as a strength.

So I like the irony of the genesis of my blog title and the fact that it also represents my love of myth and storytelling. We are meaning makers and are constantly weaving our story, our vision of the world we live in. I hope to do so with new insights and depth.

(I may repost this after I transition my Feedburner feed to the new location.)

After extricating myself from living with the woman who turned out to be addicted to crystal meth, I transitioned into what I thought was a better living arrangement. I moved into the home of a sweet old lady that lived closer to the temp job I had in Costa Mesa. It was a short bike ride to the job and I looked forward to finally having a peaceful home life. However, it wasn’t long before I noticed a man going past my window on a regular basis. He would then mysteriously appear inside the house. It turned out that the woman was hiding her grandson, who was wanted by the police, in her garage. Yes, he was living in her garage and then would sneak around to enter the house through her window. And yes, he was wanted by the police!

Having gone through quite a bit to move into this place, I was primarily in a state of denial about the situation until one day I saw him reach for something above a cabinet in the bathroom. After he was gone, I climbed up to take a peak and found syringes. This confirmed what I already suspected, that I was again living with a drug addict. How could this be possible after I tried so hard to find a safe and stable place to live! Luckily by this time, I had found a permanent job (more on the job hunt details in my next installment) and met a young woman there who was looking for a roommate. I made arrangements with my new found friends at work to get myself out of that house ASAP. This was move number three in my first five months in Southern California.

I’ll never forget watching the silhouette of the grandson going past my window and the sense of normalcy that the woman had developed around the arrangement. Sadly he even had her convinced that the money she gave him was for medical treatment. I hope that her daughter, who I only met once in the beginning, finally realized what was going on.

On Saturday, we had a small gathering at our church to watch some GA events. It was an opportunity for those of who weren’t able to attend this year to share the web watching experience. Plus it was a chance for others who have never attended General Assembly to see what the fuss is about. Since this event was thrown together relatively late, we weren’t expecting a big turn out. Technologically it went great! We watched the prerecorded opening worship and then the live stream of the Ware Lecture. Both were enthusiastically received and I for one felt a connection with our fellow UUs many miles away.

You’ll have to excuse this late report, but I’ve been a bit distracted by making arrangements to begin the Masters of Divinity program at Earlham in August!

I missed the start of GA but joined in by watching the live feed of the Service of the Living Tradition today. My only difficulty was that I watched it in the church office. An interruption was inevitable. The service was particularly moving for me because I found out this morning that I was accepted into the MDiv program at Earlham School of Religion ::happy dance::

Saturday our Board President and I are organizing a GA Watch event for the church. We will be watching the pre-recorded opening and then the live feed of the Ware Lecture. Wish us luck and no tech gremlins

We left off with me driving around Southern California in a daze. I remember at one point making a tearful phone call to my mother from a public phone in a mall. I spent the weekend driving around looking for a place to live. I was determined to be out of the way when my mother’s friend came home from vacation. As a drove through Huntington Beach, I saw a “For Rent” sign just a block or so from the beach. A very blond woman and her boyfriend were happy to sublet the available room to me. They would also be my only friends in SoCal and because of this I was slow to realize the problems this couple had.

My next hurdle was discovering that cars matter. When moving from the suburbs into downtown DC, I gave up my car which made life easier. There was plenty of transportation options and parking was a nightmare. Well, I had a culture shock experience as the converse was true in Orange County. I called up employment agencies only to be told that I needed a car to get an interview. When I finally started to get a few temp jobs, it took a few buses and hours to get to a location that a car would get you in 30 minutes. Eventually I borrowed someone’s cast off bike to get around. I was using up my meager savings and living off of Top Ramen. When my roommates/friends told me that we were being kicked out of our townhouse apartment, I believed the story that it was the previous roommate’s fault. We found a house for rent together and I even took on the primary responsibility for the lease. I was having a tough time and not ready to give up on my only social contacts.

When I wasn’t working, I hung out watching the boyfriend who was a tatoo artist. This was my introduction to the idea of tatoos as art. I only knew the tattooed sailor stereotype before meeting this couple. I watched him create the drawings from scratch and then painstakingly ink them onto skin. I was fascinated and amazed as I watched feathered wings spread across the back of a large motorcyclist. I pondered the idea of getting a tattoo but couldn’t settle on anything that I might like forever. I also hung out with their beach friends and even went to a pot festival if I remember correctly. Pretty funny for someone who doesn’t smoke pot. Sometimes I think I would have made a good anthropologist because I enjoyed immersing myself into experiences very different from my own while maintaining a certain detachment.

However, I became concerned when I realized that the blond was doing crystal meth. When she started staying up all night doing it and blaring music, I realized that I had to leave. I had finally gotten a steady employment gig and sleep was really a crucial element for me. I started searching for another apartment and when I found a little old lady who was renting a room in her house, I thought it would be the perfect respite for someone a bit weary from all the bumps in the road. Sure at 24 I would prefer to hang out with people my own age, but at that point a “grandma” figure sounded quite comforting. However, it turned out that the cosmic joke was on me.